It's time for your weekly dose of Wild & Young. Since I feel so much suffering every time I hear the song, so much in fact that one of my staffers suggested to my significant other to play it when I am insolent, I feel all of you must share in my pain by my embedding it this go around every time that it actually plays:
Everyone must suffer! As we see commercials and the WWE signature we have been told next week will be the next elimination on NXT. I give you this quote from Kiss from TheImpactPlayers.net regarding the currently ranked 7th place (and thus somewhat likely to be eliminated) Husky Harris:
Riv: I'm gonna laugh if Husky comes out to (Cody Rhodes') Mirror Entrance tonight.
Kiss: hahaha and he looks into it and the mirror breaks?
Riv: oh my god that'd be fucking epic. so fucking quoted.
WHO WILL BE THE WWE'S NEXT BREAKOUT STAR!?! I don't know, but I know that Matt Striker demonstrated to the NXT rookies earlier today how the "obstacle course" challenge is going to work today. Welcome to the second round of Double Dare.
We're opening up NXT with the VIP Lounge. I liked the lounge better when MVP was heel because the tag like he opened up with was way better back when the "VIP lounge was for people better than you." Tonight, MVP is angry so he calls out his rookie Percy Watson:
I told you. Every time I suffer, so will you. I'm going to laugh if this segment ends in Percy Watson getting mugged by all the pros like he attempted to have done to MVP by all the rookies. MVP chastises Percy Watson but tells him he took some initiative. MVP wanted to smash the glasses right off his face, but he's OK because he's reminded of the MVP that debuted on Smackdown who would have done the same thing. Percy says that he went about this the wrong way and the go-getter personality took over (or he was possessed by the ghost of Wade Barrett). After hitting the OH YEAH! Matt Striker's theme hits and for a minute I thought he was going to have Big Daddy V come out here and kill them.
Striker mentions that Watson should take this moment to tell us why Percy should be #1 next week since there's an elimination coming.
I notice Little Rock, Arkansas is kind of booing Percy despite the fact he's been over everywhere else. Mainly because they have a bunch of racists there. Matt Striker cuts Watson off before he finishes and Matt Striker is cut off by Cody Rhodes and Husky Harris, and that amazing new entrance music. Unfortunately Harris goes nowhere near the mirror. Cody Rhodes explains that even though Husky needs grooming tips (Husky digs into his ear while Cody says this), and Cody says that Husky is a good representation of the people because he is fat and realistic just like them. Husky is up next against Percy as we hit our first commercials. Husky totally needed to look in that fucking mirror, damn it!
We get a promo video for Lucky Cannon. He's my pick to get cut next week if for nothing else the fact that officials are really high on Husky Harris and if I have to pick someone to go home, it's going to be Lucky Cannon. Zack Ryder remarks Lucky Cannon looks kinda plain and non-standoutish. Yeah, kind of like Bret and Brian Major, right, Zack?
Apparently this match is a tag match, so MVP and Cody Rhodes are also involved. Fat Baby goes to work on Showtime. Watson sells well. He looks like he's in pain when he gets hit. Now Watson takes control and works the arm of Fat Toddler trying to keep him grounded as MVP shouts some instruction. MVP tags in and begins wailing on Husky. MVP hits a flying clothesline but Husky kicks out. Watson is quick-tagged back in. Watson shoulderblocks Husky, and you would think that Husky's mass would have knocked Percy down instead. Harris powers Watson into his corner and tags in Cody Rhodes, Faggot. Rhodes now has silver reflective boots... and still no kneepads. Quick tag back to Husky while slapping Watson around. Watson hits a standing dropkick on Husky and the "OH YEAH!" I think Husky is more over with the people of Arkansas, all of whom are fat, white and only have an average of 7 teeth. Fighting continues on the outside and we hit ANOTHER commercial break.
Back in the ring when we get back from the break, Cody Rhodes, faggot is in the ring with Percy Watson. Watson scoop slams Rhodes into the mat but then Rhodes, faggot, begins to take control of the match again. Michael Cole talks about how attractive Rhodes, faggot is, because he is a faggot as well. Michael Cole believes the Rhodes, faggot poll from the Divas. I hear Layla is dating Rhodes, Faggot. That makes me sad. Husky is tagged back in on this wounded Watson. He really needs to do something here to make himself look good. Michael Cole begins to kiss Miz's ass during the match as well and Josh Mathews calls him out on it. Both rookies end up tagging both pros while I get distracted by Michael Cole and Josh arguing. MVP takes down Rhodes, MVP punches Fat Toddler in the face, BALLIN!!! Husky tries to get back into the ring but MVP kicks him back outside. Rhodes hits the flying kick from the turnbuckle corner and demands Husky finish MVP off, which he does with the Husky Bomb for the win.
Rhodes has a boner. I think Harris gave it to him.
We are reminded that Joe Hennig (I REFUSE to call him Michael McGuillicutty), is 4-0 and we get a promo about him. Rhodes brings up a point that armdrags, and dropkicks and leapfrogs aren't Ruthless Aggression. Morrison brings up the shortcomings on the mic. Irony considering Morrison hasn't impressed me on one since he and the Miz were tag champs.
It's interesting that since they added that OTHER NXT song that isn't as bad we aren't forced to listen to as much Wild & Young as we used to have to. Fortunate for all of you since I've been embedding it. We're told up next is Alex Riley vs. Lucky Cannon. At first I had high expectations for Riley but I have been completely disappointed thus far. Michael Cole marks out because the Miz is going to be here. I will laugh if NXT goes to a Season 3 and the Miz is a pro for the third time just so Michael Cole can verbally continue to fellate him.
It played during the DID YOU KNOW. Fuck you guys!
We are told that because Wade Barrett hit his forward slam on Mark Henry he won't be here so Lucky Cannon is stuck on his own despite the fact the Miz is at ringside with Alex Riley. Matt Striker gives Cannon 60 seconds to plead his case. Cannon doesn't really say anything interesting, which I think is his big weakness - but he does cut a decent babyface promo if you think about how stale Cena's promos are and how over he is. Matt Striker gives the mic to Alex Riley now who points out that this competition isn't about who the fans may like, but about who should be in this company and who should run it. Riley says voting for him would be the right thing and hands the mic to the Miz. The Miz complains about the WWE universe voting for Kaval and Percy Watson, and that they should vote for him because the FUTURE WWE CHAMPION told them to.
Riley whips Cannon to the corner but Cannon evades as Riley charges. Cannon takes him down with clotheslines. Riley put Cannon away in record time while I was being asked what to do in the JasonRivera.com Forums Mafia game. All I know is I looked down for one second and Cannon was dead. This doesn't look good for him going into elimination week. Miz keeps mocking lucky with the briefcase and teasing hitting him with it but ultimately does not. I think he just wanted to make his music restart. Miz leaves the ring. He comes back into the ring. Briefcase to the midsection followed by the Skull-Crushing Finale on the briefcase.
Riv: For a guy who is Lucky he gets dropped on his head on steel objects a lot.
Marion Wallace: Don't forget that he sucks cocks.
RAW Rebound. No one cares.
:-( I. Hate. That. Song.
Matt Striker now asks why Cottonwood shouldn't be cut to he and Morrison. I say that he should be here because he may or may not have a mustache. Morrison says that some little kids didn't notice the other NXT rookies but they noticed Cottonwood. Probably because he looks like a potential future CODE ADAM. He intimidates Striker and demands Striker vote for him.
Lay-Cool get to tell us about Lay-Cool and they call him almost FLAW-LESS! Kaval tells us that he has the ability to go against a Rey Mysterio, an Evan Bourne, or a Randy Orton but the WWE Universe has the POWER. Michael Cole doesn't like this. Or the Internet. Commercials.
Joe Hennig is now asked the same question as the other rookies as we are told that the obstacle course that is coming next will be immune from elimination. Kofi hypes McGuillicutty and his fans, the McGuillibuddies. Michael Cole says he's going to throw up. For once I agree. Hennig still doesn't have it on the mic. Hennig is running the obstacle course and gets it done in 26.7. Not bad to do an obstacle course. They should have played Daddy's entrance music during that.
Alex Riley is next. He's already off to a slower start than Hennig. He didn't do the balance well enough so he has to do over. This slows him down. He doesn't beat the record. Cottonwood is next. This is almost a joke. Maybe he'd win if this was a rape contest. He ignores going back to do the rest. He has been disqualified because he's a fucking maniac.
Lucky Cannon is next. I wonder how many head injuries he will suffer trying to do this. He's speeding fast but still can't beat Joe Hennig. Kaval is next. The announcers pick on Kaval's voice. Crowd pops as he ALMOST beats Hennig's team but the crate push is his nemesis. Showtime Percy Watson is next.
OH YEAH!
That's all you really need to know about what happened here.
Husky Harris. :-(
The Fat Toddler gets laughed at by the announcers and here he goes trying to get some speed. I will laugh if Harris makes it through. He destroys the last hurdle even though he didn't go over it. He's actually the slowest one, naturally. Joe Hennig is immune to elimination, not that he needed it. The show comes to a close as Michael Cole begs Husky Harris to take care of Josh. Who is going home next week? My money's on Lucky.
